...nobody notices anyway.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Release your anger
It's very important that you release your anger. When you want to be a future leader, you should be able to show what kind of attitude you have. Never backdown even on an employee with an upskirt. She'll be turned on by your attitude and just grab her later.
Remember, this is all business. You don't have anything to do with the personal life of this woman. And during Performance Appraisal, just tell your boss that he doesn't want to ask again, because you are the brother of Hannibal and half-brother of Ron Jeremy.
Again, poker face is the key while you're doing all this.
Remember, this is all business. You don't have anything to do with the personal life of this woman. And during Performance Appraisal, just tell your boss that he doesn't want to ask again, because you are the brother of Hannibal and half-brother of Ron Jeremy.
Again, poker face is the key while you're doing all this.
How to make yourself invulnerable
This is the kind of attitude which should make your boss and mediocre teammates scared to death because you are very unpredictable. Remember: Predictable people are easy preys.
A straightforward approach for not being intimidated by anyone.
And you're not prone for any insinuations.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Wake up naive - Preventing knowledge slavery.
So it gets me frustrated whenever I see emails where "know-how" people are sending emails for the sake of being informing something that people obviously know, and that they will send it even though they know that other people know it in the most detailed discussion. And who will be the victim for this rhetoric? The naive ones.
If you are a naive creature, be very careful and I'm with you. You are just in a state where you are enslaved to the blindness where the know-how people do not want you to be free. Maybe you just need a little bit of catalytic words that would set your mind free from the knowledge slavery.
You are a victim of knowledge slavery if you are:
1. Just accepting the emails of this know-how people and not being able to deduce what's inside it.
2. You attend meetings where the know-how individual will always look good even though what he is saying should just be a one-click mouse button and everything has already been done before by true great ones**.
3. The know-hows will always send the FYIs, emails, and reports where all the knowledge and research CAME FROM YOU!
I've stressed so much for #3, because you are working your ass of, when the know-hows will parasitically absorb and eat the accolades that he can get out of it. Anyway, if you're all in this category, then it's time for you to wake up. Do not let anyone enslave you from non-sensical retorts for you yourself should have a mind of your own. And you yourself has a strategy of your own.
Things that you can do to send the non-sense know-hows to the deepeset well where they can't come back to you again:
1. Be a snob. And look focused on your workstation. You can execute this by chanting a certain kind of mantra, like "Ooh gala ooh bumba bumba ooh!!". You're colleague's face will instantly turn pale for he didn't know that such a chant is existing and this world and he'll be so envious he didn't even get to learn it, but you know it!
2. AGAIN, poker face is the key! These know-hows are seeing opportunities for naive looking creatures. And poker faces combined with #1 is a strong personality that you are someone who can't be broken into pieces.
3. And the most important - Do not give out all trade secrets for what you've researched. It's a fact - these know-hows thrive into knowledge that will make them look good. Share to them information where they won't even be able to articulate a correct subject-verb-agreement. Say very simple keywords like - "This feature is very arousing". They won't be able to extract anything good out of it and won't be able to form any jargons at all.
So don't be like the passive whale where the little fishes will feast on your big catches. Be the enraged shark that eats everything and just give bones for leftovers.
** There's a separate topic for the true great ones.
If you are a naive creature, be very careful and I'm with you. You are just in a state where you are enslaved to the blindness where the know-how people do not want you to be free. Maybe you just need a little bit of catalytic words that would set your mind free from the knowledge slavery.
You are a victim of knowledge slavery if you are:
1. Just accepting the emails of this know-how people and not being able to deduce what's inside it.
2. You attend meetings where the know-how individual will always look good even though what he is saying should just be a one-click mouse button and everything has already been done before by true great ones**.
3. The know-hows will always send the FYIs, emails, and reports where all the knowledge and research CAME FROM YOU!
I've stressed so much for #3, because you are working your ass of, when the know-hows will parasitically absorb and eat the accolades that he can get out of it. Anyway, if you're all in this category, then it's time for you to wake up. Do not let anyone enslave you from non-sensical retorts for you yourself should have a mind of your own. And you yourself has a strategy of your own.
Things that you can do to send the non-sense know-hows to the deepeset well where they can't come back to you again:
1. Be a snob. And look focused on your workstation. You can execute this by chanting a certain kind of mantra, like "Ooh gala ooh bumba bumba ooh!!". You're colleague's face will instantly turn pale for he didn't know that such a chant is existing and this world and he'll be so envious he didn't even get to learn it, but you know it!
2. AGAIN, poker face is the key! These know-hows are seeing opportunities for naive looking creatures. And poker faces combined with #1 is a strong personality that you are someone who can't be broken into pieces.
3. And the most important - Do not give out all trade secrets for what you've researched. It's a fact - these know-hows thrive into knowledge that will make them look good. Share to them information where they won't even be able to articulate a correct subject-verb-agreement. Say very simple keywords like - "This feature is very arousing". They won't be able to extract anything good out of it and won't be able to form any jargons at all.
So don't be like the passive whale where the little fishes will feast on your big catches. Be the enraged shark that eats everything and just give bones for leftovers.
** There's a separate topic for the true great ones.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Giving Feedback and Appraisal - Performance Evaluation
Character Development
So have you given the latest appraisal for your teammates and team members? Appraisal period is synonymous to revenge period. This is the time when you are able to express all the angst that you've been keeping for quite some time in the realm, called office. If you're in a company where you are given the chance to give feedback to other employees, do not waste any countless efforts into it and do the following:
1. Make sure that you've consulted your sarcastic conscience.
2. You've been able to call all the bad spirits that exist even in Greek Mythology.
3. You've known the "hierarchy" in the office.
4. You've practiced the art of anonymity.
Of all, most important are 3 and 4. Followed by 1 and 2. If you want a very constructive way of delivering feedback for your teammates (even for indirect teammates), then here's your chance to do #'s 1 to 4.
Your sarcastic conscience is very important as it will give you the sense of complete wrecking of an individual's careeer. For example, "He has the most number of words that have been sent in a single email for nearly a decade of my career! It was magnificent." Or, something like "She has been very supportive to us that she stares 30 minutes staring to my 2 sentence email. She never fails to read all the details.". Such mindset would be very helpful as a first step to set the tone of your thought.
Call the bad spirits. By default, you are a good person and you might appear like an ass kisser when giving feedback. You shouldn't be. A champion ass kisser will never ever give a constructive feedback. If you were in the spirit of the most hated creatures, like Frankenstein or Dr. Jekyll, then you're in for the most bizarre yet convicted feedback. Like, "For quite some time, I've been seeing him playing with his nails, and apparently biting it, and I don't know, I think he's swallowing a portion of it." Or go into the detail of - "I don't know if he just always worries for his team, but he used to scratch his head as if there's always a big problem in his team, but I also noticed that there were more dandruff flakes than aircon dust in his desk."
Know the hierarchy - Once you've established the proper mindset, it's very important that you know what you are hitting. If you are hitting someone who is on the higher level, immediately go to number 4. Otherwise, ensure that you've collected all #'s 1 and 2. The order doesn't really matter because if you've already got the mindset, then order would be last to think about as every comment that you have will always be a highlight.
The art of anonymity - Why? Most of the times, those that are in the higher position are more prone to being emotional. Those dolts would always appear calm (remember the poker face principle - see label poker face), but they will always have the last laugh. And you will never want to be a moving target for a homing missile. Those in the higher level are always aiming for vengeance, but how do you handle such? Higher position would always want "results", so portray a sarcastic, whimsical, and low-level acting as a "result". For example, coughing hard as if a phlegm won't come out in the middle of the day. Or, twisting your fingers and point and whisper (loud) that you are having a carpal tunnel. Walk as if you're crippled after being assigned of a hard task. During Fridays, drink lots of water and sprinkle a little bit of it onto your face while in front of the computer. Then after doing all those acts, go to the portal of "anonymous feedbacks" where you should write one and write the most cynical feedback you wanted too, then send a separate email to your higher beings of all praises, and that will sell! Your higher being will feel worried, there's an ill employee that he can't handle well because he's such a bad administrator, and on the other side, he'll be downtrodded he doesn't even know the evil maniac who just sent a note that his nose looks like he's the son of Jackie Chan and a female Pinnochio. But you are still the best employee in the world for the effort and passion that you are showing as a "result".
So, good luck and always be constructive.
So have you given the latest appraisal for your teammates and team members? Appraisal period is synonymous to revenge period. This is the time when you are able to express all the angst that you've been keeping for quite some time in the realm, called office. If you're in a company where you are given the chance to give feedback to other employees, do not waste any countless efforts into it and do the following:
1. Make sure that you've consulted your sarcastic conscience.
2. You've been able to call all the bad spirits that exist even in Greek Mythology.
3. You've known the "hierarchy" in the office.
4. You've practiced the art of anonymity.
Of all, most important are 3 and 4. Followed by 1 and 2. If you want a very constructive way of delivering feedback for your teammates (even for indirect teammates), then here's your chance to do #'s 1 to 4.
Your sarcastic conscience is very important as it will give you the sense of complete wrecking of an individual's careeer. For example, "He has the most number of words that have been sent in a single email for nearly a decade of my career! It was magnificent." Or, something like "She has been very supportive to us that she stares 30 minutes staring to my 2 sentence email. She never fails to read all the details.". Such mindset would be very helpful as a first step to set the tone of your thought.
Call the bad spirits. By default, you are a good person and you might appear like an ass kisser when giving feedback. You shouldn't be. A champion ass kisser will never ever give a constructive feedback. If you were in the spirit of the most hated creatures, like Frankenstein or Dr. Jekyll, then you're in for the most bizarre yet convicted feedback. Like, "For quite some time, I've been seeing him playing with his nails, and apparently biting it, and I don't know, I think he's swallowing a portion of it." Or go into the detail of - "I don't know if he just always worries for his team, but he used to scratch his head as if there's always a big problem in his team, but I also noticed that there were more dandruff flakes than aircon dust in his desk."
Know the hierarchy - Once you've established the proper mindset, it's very important that you know what you are hitting. If you are hitting someone who is on the higher level, immediately go to number 4. Otherwise, ensure that you've collected all #'s 1 and 2. The order doesn't really matter because if you've already got the mindset, then order would be last to think about as every comment that you have will always be a highlight.
The art of anonymity - Why? Most of the times, those that are in the higher position are more prone to being emotional. Those dolts would always appear calm (remember the poker face principle - see label poker face), but they will always have the last laugh. And you will never want to be a moving target for a homing missile. Those in the higher level are always aiming for vengeance, but how do you handle such? Higher position would always want "results", so portray a sarcastic, whimsical, and low-level acting as a "result". For example, coughing hard as if a phlegm won't come out in the middle of the day. Or, twisting your fingers and point and whisper (loud) that you are having a carpal tunnel. Walk as if you're crippled after being assigned of a hard task. During Fridays, drink lots of water and sprinkle a little bit of it onto your face while in front of the computer. Then after doing all those acts, go to the portal of "anonymous feedbacks" where you should write one and write the most cynical feedback you wanted too, then send a separate email to your higher beings of all praises, and that will sell! Your higher being will feel worried, there's an ill employee that he can't handle well because he's such a bad administrator, and on the other side, he'll be downtrodded he doesn't even know the evil maniac who just sent a note that his nose looks like he's the son of Jackie Chan and a female Pinnochio. But you are still the best employee in the world for the effort and passion that you are showing as a "result".
So, good luck and always be constructive.
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