Character Development
So have you given the latest appraisal for your teammates and team members? Appraisal period is synonymous to revenge period. This is the time when you are able to express all the angst that you've been keeping for quite some time in the realm, called office. If you're in a company where you are given the chance to give feedback to other employees, do not waste any countless efforts into it and do the following:
1. Make sure that you've consulted your sarcastic conscience.
2. You've been able to call all the bad spirits that exist even in Greek Mythology.
3. You've known the "hierarchy" in the office.
4. You've practiced the art of anonymity.
Of all, most important are 3 and 4. Followed by 1 and 2. If you want a very constructive way of delivering feedback for your teammates (even for indirect teammates), then here's your chance to do #'s 1 to 4.
Your sarcastic conscience is very important as it will give you the sense of complete wrecking of an individual's careeer. For example, "He has the most number of words that have been sent in a single email for nearly a decade of my career! It was magnificent." Or, something like "She has been very supportive to us that she stares 30 minutes staring to my 2 sentence email. She never fails to read all the details.". Such mindset would be very helpful as a first step to set the tone of your thought.
Call the bad spirits. By default, you are a good person and you might appear like an ass kisser when giving feedback. You shouldn't be. A champion ass kisser will never ever give a constructive feedback. If you were in the spirit of the most hated creatures, like Frankenstein or Dr. Jekyll, then you're in for the most bizarre yet convicted feedback. Like, "For quite some time, I've been seeing him playing with his nails, and apparently biting it, and I don't know, I think he's swallowing a portion of it." Or go into the detail of - "I don't know if he just always worries for his team, but he used to scratch his head as if there's always a big problem in his team, but I also noticed that there were more dandruff flakes than aircon dust in his desk."
Know the hierarchy - Once you've established the proper mindset, it's very important that you know what you are hitting. If you are hitting someone who is on the higher level, immediately go to number 4. Otherwise, ensure that you've collected all #'s 1 and 2. The order doesn't really matter because if you've already got the mindset, then order would be last to think about as every comment that you have will always be a highlight.
The art of anonymity - Why? Most of the times, those that are in the higher position are more prone to being emotional. Those dolts would always appear calm (remember the poker face principle - see label poker face), but they will always have the last laugh. And you will never want to be a moving target for a homing missile. Those in the higher level are always aiming for vengeance, but how do you handle such? Higher position would always want "results", so portray a sarcastic, whimsical, and low-level acting as a "result". For example, coughing hard as if a phlegm won't come out in the middle of the day. Or, twisting your fingers and point and whisper (loud) that you are having a carpal tunnel. Walk as if you're crippled after being assigned of a hard task. During Fridays, drink lots of water and sprinkle a little bit of it onto your face while in front of the computer. Then after doing all those acts, go to the portal of "anonymous feedbacks" where you should write one and write the most cynical feedback you wanted too, then send a separate email to your higher beings of all praises, and that will sell! Your higher being will feel worried, there's an ill employee that he can't handle well because he's such a bad administrator, and on the other side, he'll be downtrodded he doesn't even know the evil maniac who just sent a note that his nose looks like he's the son of Jackie Chan and a female Pinnochio. But you are still the best employee in the world for the effort and passion that you are showing as a "result".
So, good luck and always be constructive.
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